Wake up, America!

Mea culpa. This entry is 4 days behind. I flew into the U.S. to discover that my Dad had broken a femur, and I've been carless and computerless in Ventura County. My apologies, and here goes...

RELATED QUOTES

"Cognitive dissonance is a psychological state that describes the uncomfortable feeling between what one holds to be true and what one knows to be true. In simple terms, it can be the filtering of information that conflicts with what one already believes, in an effort to ignore that information and reinforce one's beliefs" -dictionary

"And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it."
-George W. Bush

"If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership. -Will Rogers

"We must rapidly begin the shift from a 'thing-oriented' society to a 'person-oriented' society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered." -Martin Luther King

"And yet America still means hope. Within the 'world' that is America as it actually is, there lies what America means. We are naive only when we confuse the two, when our feeling of hope is directed toward the outer America that we percieve with the senses, rather than the America we grasp with the mind and the heart. Because this other America seems powerless or elusive does not mean it is not real. Because America betrays its ideals is no reason to reject the ideals themselves. We do not live in correspondence with the great life hidden within us; but that is no reason to deny that this hidden life exists and calls to us." -Jacob Needleman

So, once again I'm back in the U S of A and undergoing reverse culture shock. It's actually a pleasant process, and the effects of jet lag tinge it with just the right degree of unreality. In this cultural halfway-house state of being, both food and communication become engaging experiences.

The menu choices in restaurants, the meal options in a supermarket, and even the candy selection in a convenience store remind my tastebuds of long untapped pleasures.

Communication now includes the potential for more subtle realms such as humor, idiom and innuendo; levels not so easily reached when I'm conversing in Thai.

I also notice the conversations of strangers who are in close enough proximity. Rather than offering voyeuristic satisfaction, this proves to be an irritating invasion of my own mental wanderings. I realize that I have come to appreciate the white noise of rapidly spoken Thai as a background to my inner musings.

I am once more immersed in American buildings, American culture, and, well, Americans. I am back in familiar territory. Less exotic, and better understood. Breathe deeply, Dorothy. You're back in Kansas.

And, given the year, month and situation, I am surounded by an ongoing presidential primary. That is the catalyst for this topic, and I confess that the combination of returning from overseas and this current political campaign has led me to disquieting reflections. I will attempt to share some of these thoughts, rather than defend them. Politics and nationalism strike emotional chords in many people, and the intent here is to express rather than persuade.

The first quote in this blog was a definition of cognitive dissonance. Let me offer another, this one from the American Heritage Dictionary: cognitive dissonance: A condition of conflict or anxiety between one's beliefs and one's actions, such as opposing the slaughtering of animals and eating meat.

Or, a belief that America is a just and compassionate nation, while also acknowledging the abuses in Guantanamo, the collateral deaths of children in Afghanistan and Iraq, our economic opposition to combat global warming... It takes a lot of rationalization to reconcile America's actions with her alleged values, and I think that far too many people are managing that rationalization far too well. As a collective nation we have become numb to the pain in the world and numb to the consquences of our government's actions.

We also, by use of our economic and military strength, employ a double standard that we would indignantly refuse to accept from others.

Am I anti-American? No, there is much about this country that I love and cherish. But that is not a reason to remain obligingly silent or to respond with knee-jerk defensiveness. If a child exhibits behaviors which are dangerous to itself or others, does a parent look the other way out of love?

Am I a patriot? This is a more complicated question. and provokes a less definitive response. I am a patriot of America's ideals, but not of my country's government and practices. And I do not say this proudly, but rather sadly, with a genuine sense of loss.

It is not that other countries are better. The subjugation of women in the name of god, blatant corruption, horrendous abuse of individual rights, political posturing over humane government, economic greed prioritized over human need. . . . I don't see many shining role models out there.

Still. . . . Maybe I was just brainwashed and naive, but I expected better from America.

How has our government reached the place where I now see it? Offhand, three thoughts come to mind.

One, I think we have become a nation of consumers. Arguably not a bad thing in itself, but we have become enamored of goods to the point of forsaking our goodness. I fear we are a nation of idealists in words, but a nation of materialists in our actions. "The most pitiful among men is he who turns his dreams into silver and gold." -Kahlil Gibran

Two, I think that many of us are accepting the decisions of our politicians out of fear. Agreed, it is a scarey world out there. But unilateral action, anticipatory strikes and 'acceptable' collateral damage does not make us safer in the long run. Our bombs are creating new generations of terrorists, just as our past policies have contributed to to the current terrorist threat. I hope you do not misinterpret my words. I am not saying that terrorism is justified. Understanding someone's actions is not the same as condoning them.

Along the same reasoning, I understand the fear of Americans which allows them to see children killed abroad and our civil liberties under attack at home. But again, understanding is not the same as condoning.

The third point is not so easily conveyed in a bullet paragraph. I believe that America is not just a creator of the world we live in, but is a product of that world as well. Logistical and technological complexities have evolved farther than our personal consciousness. In some ways, the misdeeds of America are less a condemnation of the country than a reflection of the present level of humankind's social and spiritual evolution.

The question to ask, ultimately, is what should we do next? There are no easy answers, but I believe we need to move forward with both our hearts and our heads. Neither alone will suffice.

First off, in the coming elections, are you going to be voting out of fear or out of hope?

We need to examine the actions of our country both carefully and critically; neither with unthinking patriotism nor with whining and self-righteous condemnation.

We need a different criteria for success other than the largest house, the biggest car and the most possesions.

As a nation and as individuals we need to examine both our motivations and our reasons for them. An honest examination; not just a reciting of our old scripts.

It is true that the price of freedom is not cheap. But the implication that our freedom has to be defended by blood is not nearly the whole picture. Freedom comes at the cost of honest self-appraisal. More often than giving up our lives, freedom requires that we give up our assumptions.

With rhetoric replacing reality and expediency replacing equality, the American dream is becoming just that; a dream. We have a vision to live up to that has fallen into disrepair, and ideals that are worthy of our vigilance.

Wake up, America

That time of the season again…

Hi all! Sorry if we’re a little late writing our blog this time; we didn’t really think we had that much to talk about. As it turns out, we do have a little something. It’s that time of the season again where, after 7 months here in Arizona, we find ourselves with 16 days and counting before the ranch closes for the summer. We’ve been filling out applications, sending out resumes, checking out websites, and talking with different companies all in hopes of finding our next temporary home. Normally, with 16 days left in a season, we would have long since figured this all out. After 14 jobs, somehow, looking for our 15th has provided us with more challenges than usual. (Yes, Mom, we have ideas, but no, we don’t quite know where we’re going yet!) Are we worried? Yes. A little. But we feel like we have some good leads, and we know that it always works out in the end. (If you are reading this and need a great Concierge and Shuttle Driver, hit us up!) In other news, we have been trying to do all the activities in Arizona that we’ve wanted to do before we leave. We went to some hot springs yesterday – even though it was 95 degrees outside – and soaked for an hour and a half. Highly recommended! We’ve been doing a lot of hiking and have seen the desert coming alive again – cactus flowers blooming, rattlesnakes (eek!), lizards, and vultures. (Begee even saw a snake in a tree! *shudder*) Today, we went horseback riding again, and got to lope for the first time. Loping is a step below galloping but a step up from trotting, and it was so much fun! We imagined ourselves chasing after an outlaw with Wyatt and Doc. Then, this afternoon, we went skeet shooting and took out some clay pigeons. Begee hit 20 out of 50, and Erin had 6 out of 50. Guess we won’t be with Wyatt and Doc after all… We went to the zoo last weekend and hung out with the javelinas, orangutans, and lions. A couple weeks ago, we went to Sedona and saw the only McDonald’s in the world with teal arches, instead of the standard golden arches (that one’s for you, Karrie!). We also saw Snoopy Rock and our favorite Channel 3 anchors. We've also been to Jerome and attended a Phoenix Coyotes hockey game, where Begee met Howler while Erin drooled over Wayne Gretzky. We’ve accomplished so much here in Arizona and have really faced some of our fears (hello riding a mule into the Grand Canyon!). We never expected to find such excitement and beauty in the Arizona desert, and we never expected to like working at a dude ranch so much. Someone we interviewed with today told us that she felt like she already sorta knew us because she had been reading this blog. She even said she was excited when she saw our names come through her applications. That made us feel nice! Wherever we go next, whatever we do, we can only imagine what adventures lie in store for us and hope that you’ll keep reading about them. Happy travels!

Exploring the Ancient Civilizations of Sri Lanka (Part 2)

After two days bicycling through the hot and dusty plains of North-Central Sri Lanka, my room at the Flower Inn in Sigirya couldn't have felt more comfortable. Through my windows I looked out on the charming garden of the guesthouse and by early evening I was ready to explore the town. I wandered the streets and spoke with locals, occasionally letting my gaze fall upon the 200m flat-topped rock that rose straight up out of the lush, leafy jungle at its base.


Sigirya Rock is the hardened magma plug of an extinct volcano. It is not only one of Sri Lanka's most impressive geological formations, but also one of its greatest archaeological legacies. With its natural cave shelters and rock overhangs, the rock may have been inhabited in prehistoric times. Studies suggest that the rock served as a long-standing monastery built several centuries before the reign of King Kassapa who ruled between AD 477-495. Monks were using it as a mountain hermitage by the 3rd Century BC, and there is abundant evidence to show it had become an important monastery by the 10th Century AD. After the 14th Century, the monastery complex was abandoned, discovered again by British archeologist HCP Bell in 1898. Whatever exact purposes Sigiriya may have served in the past, the visible ruins today suggest a significant urban site complete with relatively sophisticated architecture, engineering, urban planning, hydraulic technology, gardening and art- all on a rock that is so steep-sided, I could hardly imagine climbing it the next morning.

After a pleasant afternoon stroll through the jungle around Sigiriya, I stumbled upon a small village where a group of young guys were playing cricket. I joined them next to a beautiful pond with awe-inspiring views of Sigiriya and amused them with my attempts at cricket pitching and batting. Together, three of us ventured to their nearby house, set in a lovely jungle setting, where we took a swim in the creek before having tea with the family. I met their mother, older brother, his wife, and their daughter and enjoyed a few cups of tea before returning to the lake for sunset.

I hung around chatting with the guys until well after dark, and then attempted to make my departure back to the Flower Inn. It was then that someone shouted "Elephant!" and I turned around to see a large dark shadow grazing in the pond behind the village which borders a national park. Everyone became very excited at the sight of the wild elephant and together we crept around the house for a better view, the guys constantly reminding me to be careful for such an animal was very dangerous, capable of stomping through the village, desecrating homes and killing people, as sometimes happens. We peered out at the pond while the large dark figure moved slowly among the marsh. Villagers used headlights to illuminate the grey ghostly figure and then began shouting loudly, in hopes of driving it back into the forests. When the wild elephant had disappeared, I left the village, and retired to my room as if in a dream-like state already.


Early the next morning I walked down the pathway past landscaped gardens towards the looming rock. Sigiriya is an impressive sight, especially from afar, a massive rock rising steeply from the jungle, a mysterious sight as there is nothing even close to its height in sight. First, I passed through the 'miniature' water garden, an elaborate network of water pavilions, pools, courtyards and waterways. There are five units in the garden with buildings surrounded by pools with pebbled or polished marble floors covered by shallow, slowly moving water, all laid out in the last quarter of the 5th Century.

Then I entered the next portion of the Water Garden, known as the 'fountain garden' where there are four fountains built symmetrically, two on each side. The fountains are fed by the two adjacent moats and water is carried through underground water conduits on the simple principle of gravity and pressure, though an unusual feature is the shallow serpentine stream designed to control movement of the water.

Closer to the rock is the Boulder Garden which displays a landscape design of marked contrast to the symmetry and geometry of the Water Garden. Staircases and walkways wind their way through clusters of boulders that once formed the bases of buildings. Natural arches are formed where boulders touch, the walkways passing beneath their arches. Walls built around and on the boulders help retain the natural setting amidst the multi-terraced landscaped gardens and unique stone staircases. It is from the Boulder Garden, in a cave called Aligala, that evidence of 6000 year old prehistoric settlements were found. Thirty caves with drip ledges have been located and eight contain Brahmi inscriptions.

From the Boulder Garden, a long, steep staircases ascends the rock protected by railings, though these wouldn't have existed until more modern times. About halfway up the rock there are 2 modern spiral staircases that lead up from the main route to a long, sheltered gallery in the sheer rock face. In this niche is a series of paintings of buxom women popularly believed to represent either apsaras (celestial nymphs) or King Kassapa's concubines. Although there may have been 500 portraits at one time, only 22 remain. Locals believe the paintings to be 1600 years old, depicting women of African, Mongol and Sri Lankan descent.
Beyond the fresco gallery of paintings the path clings to the sheer side of the rock and is protected on the outside by a 3m-high wall which was coated with a smooth glazing making it highly polished like a mirror, hence its name 'Mirror Wall'. This wall is of architectural and literary importance because of grafitti left by visitors between the 6th and 14 Centuries. 685 of them have been deciphered and published in a 2-volume edition. The graffiti expresses feelings of enchantment with the paintings and surrounding environment, and not only do they show an appreciation of art and beauty, but also the development of Sinhalese language and script.

At the northern end of the rock the narrow pathway emerges onto a large platform from which the rock derives its latter name, meaning 'Lion Rock'. HCP Bell found the two enormous lion paw carvings when excavating here in 1898. At one time a gigantic brick lion sat at this end of the rock and the final ascent to the summit commenced with a stairway that led between the lion's paws ad into its mouth. The 5th Century lion has since disappeared, apart from the final steps and paws, but the massive size of the paws indicate just how large this carving must have been.

Reaching the summit requires clambering up a series of grooves cut into the rock, fortunately now protected by a handrail. The top of the rock covers 1.2 hectares and at one time was covered in buildings, though only the foundations remain. Design of this so-called palace suggests more of a place of residence than a fortress, as previously believed. From the summit there are commanding views of the surrounding farmlands, gardens and the mountains in the distance. Mazes of white marble and red brick staircases are scattered amongst the enclosed terrace. A smooth slab stone (called the King's Throne) looks out across the surrounding jungle and probably served as a meditation spot. Then there's the 27m by 21m pond hewn out of rocks. Though it was probably used for water storage, it's hard not to imagine an exquisite swimming pool with a 2m-wide pathway on 2 sides and the other 2 sides bordered by the slick rock that forms natural walls with staircases etched into the rock allowing for safe and easy entrance.

I sat atop Sigiriya for some time, enjoying the peace and solitude, before descending the rock. Again, only did I see other tourists when I was descending and by then the heat of the day had left them soaked in sweat. I skipped past them gleefully, my head full of visions of ancient civilizations and my mind trying to explain how it could be possible that so long ago they created such an extraordinary place out of a natural wonder such as Sigiriya.

Happy At The Moment

I heard a line the other night from a movie that I can't recall: "I'm tired of being happy at the moment. I want to be happy for good." I'm pretty sure it was a break-up scene, the girl was fed up. I don't remember what was said after, or how things between them turned out. But that line really resonated with me and got me thinking about what really makes me happy.

 I've been feeling so frustrated lately about career moves, as well as geographical ones. I'm back working in the interior design field, using my degree, but not really my potential. I miss teaching and working with kids in Korea. I miss impacting lives, even if by just a small amount. My decision to leave Korea early was mostly based upon a romantic, idealistic notion that was greatly influenced by the holiday season, and the movie "Love Actually." My boyfriend, Mike and I had made it through seven long months of misconstrued emails, Skype calls and a fourteen hour time difference that left both of us needing more sleep. He came to visit, and it was all over after that. My flight back to the states was booked just in time to have me home for Christmas. Bags were packed. 

When I initially left for Korea back in April, (despite my puppy-love state of mind) I had made it clear that living within a fifty mile radius of my hometown was not high on my list if I did decide to move back to the states. I never really thought I would move back to Virginia voluntarily, even if I was in love with someone who lived there. I've always had this need for scenic change, and I've always felt caged when I move back home. And even though I knew Mike had established a life there, and he wasn't able to move around like me, I wasn't concerned about us not working out. I was pretty confident. But if I ended up being wrong, well, wouldn't be the first time. 

It's not that I completely regret making the decision to leave early and move back to VA. I don't, completely. I do regret basing so much of my decision on the idealistic notion that love is enough, which is exactly how I felt at that moment. And I was definitely "happy at the moment."

Things with Mike and I are great, when the rest of the world doesn't factor in. However, it can't seem to stay out of it. And I can't go one day without wondering where else in the world I would rather be, than in the one city that seems to paralyze my ability to function properly. But then I recall moments in Korea where I still felt a little lost, and ready to move on to somewhere new. And then I just attribute that to being leaf (in the wind)-like and still in my twenties.

I just want to get to a point where the grass isn't at all greener, and I don't put so much emphasis on what I don't have, and haven't yet accomplished.