Must Be the November Coming Out in Me...

I fell in love with fall time on the East Coast years ago. When I was a little kid, I loved to rake leaves with my brother and bury myself in the big colorful mounds. Something about the smell, the crunch of the leaves and how they stuck to my sweater. The way my cheeks got rosy and cold to the touch, while the rest of me was warm and sweaty.

It's amazing, the amount of peace that comes over me this time of year. I feel so unrestricted and vibrant. I spent the entire summer freaking out about the rest of my life. Convincing myself of choices, emotions. It's almost as if my state of mind played off of the humid summer air, stuffy and uncomfortable. I spent too much time wishing I was somewhere else, not making it happen. I resented family for making me feel guilty. But really it wasn't them. It was me feeling lost and frustrated.
I'm in a place right now where I know what I have. I'm thankful. And I'm not dwelling on what I don't have. (That must be the November coming out in me.) I'm setting goals, working towards them, and hopefully I can make things fall into place. Baby steps I know, but it's amazing how we forget to take them.

The job I took two months ago is going well. And by well, I mean I don't hate it, but I rather be traveling, doing good in the world. And while designing residential spaces for really wealthy clients won't win me any humanitarian awards, it is fun. It is what I got my degree in, after all. So, there's that. Not to mention that I get to live vicariously through them, their closets and bathrooms, that are bigger than most of my apartments I've ever lived in.

I'm slowly fitting in the traveling that I had hoped to enjoy while I'm here. I spent this past Halloween weekend in Charlotte, North Carolina. My sister and I made the 4 hour drive to go visit a few friends and check out the city. Completely blown away by it. I knew it was fairly big, but somehow it just wasn't what I had pictured. I think it's around the 20th largest city in the states. Very metropolitan, (and yet still rich with southern accents and sweet tea!) It has an uptown as opposed to a downtown. Great sushi spots, and a really fun 80's bar called The Breakfast Club. And I'm sure that the pretty fall leaves everywhere and perfect sunny weather added to its charm, but it's worth visiting. Lots to see and do there. I really want to go back when I have more time.

So I was listening to an old motivational speaking cd on the drive down to Charlotte. It's been a while since I've listened to one. They used to help me get more centered back when I was in college trying to juggle 16 credits, two jobs, an internship and a boyfriend. It's a wonder anything was able to keep me sane at that time, but it actually helped. I've decided to take a cue from one of the lessons on positive thinking, and try a method of mental cleansing. It's this seven day exercise where you commit yourself to live without one negative thought. Ok, well of course you're going to have them. You just can't voice them or act on them. And as soon as they enter your mind you have to get rid of them immediately. And if you don't, you have to start over from day one. But if you're successful and get through the seventh day, it's said to change your life. It 's supposed to put you in a much better state of mind and dramatically change the way you think and approach challenges. Not that I'm in an unpleasant state of mind or anything, I'm actually pretty content with things right now. It just sounded like a good idea, something worth trying. Think you could do it? Seven days without bitching and moaning. No negative venting in blogs either. Okay, GO!

(Hhhhmm...Perhaps I should wait until *after* I wait tables at the restaurant tonight...)