A Matter of Life and Death

Since life is cyclical and includes death, it is impossible to find meaning in it using reason and logic. One must be tuned into the flow of the life energy and enjoy one's existence; then the value is self-evident. And I felt after this experience like a surfer riding with great joy the wave of life. -Stan Grof
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Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. -Helen Keller
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People "die" all the time in their lives. Part of them died when they made the wrong kinds of decision - decisions against life. Sometimes they died bit by bit until finally they were just living corpses walking around. If you were perceptive you could see it in their eyes; the fire had gone out. But you always know when you make a decision against life. When you denied life you were warned. The cock crowed, always, somewhere inside you. The door clicked and you were safe inside -safe and dead. -Anne Morrow Lindbergh

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Once one is prepared to make their life a journey of exploration and growth, then everything indeed becomes grist for the mill. And a spectre must be dealt with, who looms ahead with his skull-backed grin and threatens to throw a monkey wrench into the whole works: Death. One has to incorporate the phenomena of mortality into one's paradigm and psyche before moving onward. Sort of like contracting a metaphysical lease before being allowed to move fully into the property.

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Life is not lost by dying! Life is lost, minute by minute, day by dragging day, In all the thousand, uncaring ways, the smooth appeasing compromises of time. Life can be... Lost without vision but not by death, Lost by not caring. -Stephen Vincent Benet

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There's Tarzan captured in the land of the Fire Queen and ready to be sacrificed. He's tied up hand and foot and being carried up to the sacrificial altar. He's surrounded by 5,000 of these fierce beast-like characters and a knife is about to be plunged into his throat and somebody says to him, 'My God Tarzan, why are you smiling?' And Tarzan says, 'Because I am alive.' quoted by Dick York


Last week I was driving in the mountains when a large truck began drifting into my lane. Forced onto the icy shoulder, I respectively lost traction and control as my vehicle began to spin.
And you know what thought ran through my mind? "Cool, now I have something for this week's blog.' No, not really. The next piece of time was spent with instincts and reflexes; cognition didn't play a major part.
The car slammed head-on into the median divider, continued its spin, and when it was pointing west again I somehow managed to regain control. Partly skill and partly luck, and even Las Vegas couldn't compute the odds on how much was which.
When I pulled over to the side, none of my passengers (nor myself) had so much as a scratch. Even the vehicle had only a flattened front bumper and a blast of cold air where a window had been. A minor (or maybe not so minor) miracle. It could have been soooo much worse....
What a wonderful reminder!
Our mortality is a truth, and its certainty can be a reference point for how our life is to be lived. Without a genuine acknowledgement of death, the dimensions of this existence become smaller and less vital. Near misses can remind us that life isn't a rehearsal (at least, I don't think it is), and that there are no second chances. Opportunities lost and moments unappreciated.... they remain just that. They're gone.
The Dalai Lama said something to the effect that 'the key to happiness is being aware of not having a toothache.' In other words, being appreciative of all the things that are going right; not just fixating on what is going wrong.
Do you mind a segway here? I want to switch gears from the general topic of life appreciation and focus on the wandering life that seems to have become my path.
When I first began to ramble, I was always the youngest one in the youth hostel and the youngest one around the campfire. That hasn't been the case for some time now. And as I grow older, some people express concern for my future; my retirement, my lack of insurance, the non-existent nest-egg, etc..
Hmmmm.....
I bought a car once, for a thousand dollars. Two weeks later I was reimbursed $1,200 for mileage after driving it cross-country to a new job. At that point, the car's longevity was gravy. I'd already gotten my money's worth and then some.
Same thing with my life. Although I'm not so cavalier about the longevity bit, it has already been a good life. I've been healthy, I've loved and been loved, I've spent time in nature, and I have been blessed with a wide array of meaningful times and adventures.
I have had wonderful friends, both of long and short duration, and have spent peak times in their presence.
You know what else gets me high? The little things. Passing smiles and small acts of kindness. Someone waving me ahead in a traffic jam. A warm interaction with a convenience store clerk. Trivial perhaps, but they leave me emotionally buoyant.
Anyway, I have had long periods of time without a toothache.
I have followed a path that (while not without mistakes) has for me been imbued with meaning and with heart. I haven't put off my dreams to create an illusion of security for a future that may not come. As the greeting card says: 'If you only live in the past and future, you never get to open your present.'
And now, with an appreciation of mortality and enough years under my belt, I can genuinely say that the rest is gravy.
Let me quickly add a modified childhood prayer:
If I should die before I wake,
I'll shout to God,
Mistake! Mistake!
It may be gravy, but to quote Oliver Twist, 'Please sir, may I have some more?
"Thank you! Thank you!" -last words of D.T.Suzuki